We all have coping skills that help us regulate our emotions, and thumb-sucking is a common option for infants. Sucking on a finger creates suction in the mouth, which releases hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin that help relax the body. For some children, this means sucking their thumb when their comfort person—usually a parent—isn’t around. Read on to learn about the connection between thumb-sucking and childhood attachment security.
What Is Attachment Security?
Attachment security refers to the emotional bond and sense of safety a child feels with their primary caregiver(s). When a child has secure attachment, they trust their caregiver to consistently meet their emotional and physical needs through responsive, nurturing, and supportive interactions.
For example, when a caregiver soothes a crying baby or acknowledges a child’s feelings, it reinforces the child’s sense of being valued and understood. Over time, this builds trust and emotional resilience, allowing the child to confidently explore the world, knowing they have a reliable base to return to when they need it.
How Thumb-Sucking and Security Connect
Understanding how thumb-sucking and childhood attachment security connect can help parents better interpret this behavior. Babies have an innate need for security and comfort at birth and rely on their caregivers to respond to their emotional and physical cries.
When a child does not feel securely attached to their caregiver, they may turn to thumb-sucking as a primary source of comfort. However, thumb-sucking can also occur in securely attached children during moments of separation or stress. If a toddler’s parents leave for dinner and entrust their care to a nanny, the child may cry and suck their thumb to self-soothe in the absence of their trusted caregiver.
Parent Tip
Thumb-sucking due to attachment security is often a stress response. The way you address the habit often depends on whether your child has an insecure attachment or separation anxiety.
Ending the Habit
Thumb-sucking during early childhood can cause dental issues and social challenges, so it’s best to end the habit right away. Begin by offering reassurance that speaks to their attachment. For example, use clear, simple language like, “I’ll see you after school,” and acknowledge your child’s feelings with things like, “I know it’s hard to say goodbye, and it’s okay to feel sad.” This blend of reassurance and empathy reinforces trust, respect, and a stronger sense of security.
As you help your child create a healthy, secure attachment, you should also experiment with different coping methods. You could give your child a special stuffed animal to hold onto while you’re away, or create a designated goodbye ritual like a special handshake or kiss. These actions can help your child feel more in control and give them something to hold onto during the separation.
Since thumb-sucking is addictive, you may also use a thumb-sucking glove to help wean your child off the habit. This type of glove eliminates your child’s ability to create suction, and it fits comfortably and naturally on their hand. With patience, positivity, and consistent support, you can guide your child toward healthier habits while strengthening their confidence and sense of security along the way.
